I told myself last year when I was starting this blog that although I'll love to bring God's light to others on in a way conveying reality, I would be careful not to insert so much of my personal life. Yet, at this time in my life, just going through God's word and understanding it as regards the daily workings of my life, I want to tell everyone reading this to REST.
"Zukwanu ike" is an Igbo phrase meaning rest or to rest.
Funny how I've been using it a lot lately to communicate sarcasm, jokes, to cheer friends up, but I have failed terribly to tell Crystabel to "Zukwanu ike".
Resting is often thought to mean sleep, inactivity or not doing anything. I really don't think that is always the case.
Rest might be more than leaving everything and doing nothing. What if it is accepting our helplessness, understanding our human failings, realizing we are overrated and calming down on how much pressure we put on ourselves? Rest could just be crying to a gospel song after a long day, finally letting a chant bring you to a heavy tongues session, staying away from memes so you don't use laughter to mask your inner exhaustion, or taking a short trip to see a dear friend in order to use the power of changing environments to find yourself again. Rest is many things. In all of it, true rest is coming to Jesus without pretence.
Anyone desiring of rest must accept that they are tired. Being in denial of the exhaustion in your Spirit will hinder you from finding rest. Only the tired need rest, only those scared of burning out seek rest, only those who know the importance of constant vitality and soundness of mind and body, take rest seriously.
To do all these things, you have to be sincere.
You haven't prayed in a while, your revival fire seems fast extinguishing, your worship feels fake, you can't make it past a few minutes of prayer, your academics are annoying, your grades aren't making you glad, you don't seem to be getting a result commensurate to the effort you put into things (Relationships <People, friends, Love life>, business, career, family and all that), you're sleeping fine yet there lies a tiredness within you that you can't explain— a heaviness your spirit carries around; talking to people about it hasn't helped, crying felt temporarily calming and now you are back where you started.
I relate perfectly.
Now I won't be selfish and turn this into a tale of my life's ups and downs, I will simply say I understand and I get how you feel.
This acceptance has been difficult for me. I mean I am Crystabel, fire brand Holy Ghost praying believer who is fervent in the word and making daily effort to live the life of Christ and tell other people about my Jesus but guess what I also am first before all these things? I am HUMAN.
I have a fleshly body and hence everything designed to happen to anyone in a human body can happen to me. So I have fears inasmuch as I know God's word on Faith. I have doubts, I wish things were different, I have past regrets, I have needs, I deal with crushes, I open social media and my heart skips a thousand beats seeing the trend tables or scary feeds. I am HUMAN and in the grand design of God every human MUST REST!
Rest isn't easy for me. I overthink. I take pride in having my life all laid out. Before you disappoint me, I have anticipated it in as many possible scenarios as you can imagine. I hate to disturb people since I understand how unreliable humans can be and I transfer this energy to even those I'm convinced love me (which is wrong by the way. I'm calling myself out😂), I rethink events from years ago and plan how they should've gone then beat myself up for not meeting up with the best solution at that time😂. It's a funny life. I'm doing better since the Holy Spirit entered my life but I know there is still a lot of work ahead. If I must enter into my Father's rest, I have to drop many things. Being the child of a spontaneous God means I can wake up and He'll say "let's spend 20 hours today together my child" and I have to cancel every other plan without feeling uncomfortable.
The person I have described above might not just be Crystabel, it could be you. When the revelation for this blog came last year, my parents were extremely and are still very supportive. They were my first subscribers, kept telling me how proud they are of me, but in my way of overthinking things I felt at a time that no one really reads the things here so I slowed down. It didn't take long before my fire started to burn out and now I barely have posts on this space.
Sometimes I'll show up, apologize, make bold claims of consistency and run off again. I wouldn't see some "validation" like comments, shares, email feedbacks and the rest so I believed I was doing a bad job here.
I was very wrong.
Recently I tried to sample opinions starting from my parents and my dad for one believes my blog was good enough to share with my pastors. Ha!!! Men who have tasted the raw word of God, men identified by their level of commitment to the things of God. Then my friend Joy spent time in my DM talking about my blog and as I kept trying to ask or randomly bring up my blog into conversations, I realized that if I had been consistent I might have gotten more stunning reviews than the few I did.
Lumiére de Dieu in all truth is God's blog so why was I even trying to help him measure the extent to which his gospel was circulating?
My answer exactly, I shouldn't have.
Now I'm looking at all the designs I've done for my blog, reminiscing on how I'll be getting a logo design soon from a famous Christian Creative simply because I introduced myself as a Christian blogger at an event we met at in Abuja. I am ooking at all the old posts, all the stories, all the scriptures, all the messages and sincerely, God has really done something great with this space.
I was too in my head to see it but Lumiére de Dieu brought change to my personal life. I began reading the word of God more, taking the things of God seriously, developing my writing to make it better; in fact it even opened up opportunities for writing jobs.
I know I've said a lot and the initial call to action (which still is) of this post is so you can rest ZUKWANU IKE, gratitude is a way to find rest.
Think back, cast your mind back to June 16th last year. What was happening then?
The world was in the middle of a pandemic inevitably forcing everyone to rest or you go out and die. Even if you were working from home, it was still an environment agitating for rest once in a while. Nations of the world felt powerless and made laws to as much as possible, protect their citizens. So much happened and yet we made it out alive. The anxiety of that season didn't consume us, life slowly eased out, God is still kind.
I'm learning to rest every now and then, you should too.
Matthew 11:28-30 is all I can come up with to support my message on rest.
“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.” Matthew 11:28-30 TPT
Fellow child of light, my charge to you today is to rest.
You have followed me on this journey for the past one year and to say that I deeply appreciate you is a gross understatement of how I really feel. I love you with all my heart for reading, subscribing and letting these words minister to your life. I thank God for you my dear but now I want you to rest.
Find rest in Jesus.
You are tired in ways you cannot explain so talk to your Father and rest. Give your thoughts a break, take many deep breaths and rest.
If you want to recount God's goodness overtime, you're starting out right. If you want to journal your thoughts, listen to music, take a walk to clear your head, or spend time silently at the altar with your Father, whatever works for you is great. Lumiére de Dieu just wants you to rest.
In real life if Lumiére was a child I would've thrown a lavish party as a parent and called all my friends to see a board of Lumiére's growth so far:
471 reads as the highest so far
34 blog posts and a whole future ahead.
Thank you so much for the last one year!
I am most grateful to God for his awesomeness and I thank God for you reading this post.
Cheers to many more beautiful years of shining the light of Jesus and spreading his love 🥂
Blessings, love and light,
For Lumiére de Dieu 💛.
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God bless you.