THE FAILURE STORY
In case you're set to read an articulately written article by Crystabel Nnamdi the owner of this blog, I am a bit sorry to disappoint you because you won't! Instead you will be reading a powerful testimony of how God came through for me and exchanged failure for favor.
I was third year student of Mass Communication and facing what would be my biggest academic challenge. Was I good student? Yes. Was I doing well academically? I was an average student. However, I have come to understand that God let's certain people pass through certain hurdles in life so they can manufacture the hand book for jumping them to guide others. I want to believe that's why things happened the way they did.
That year was going to be my third time of writing one course. Funny right? Upright child of God (apart from the back and forths every once in a while), serving God diligently as the Bible study coordinator in one of the leading fellowships on campus, encouraging other heavy hearted brethren that there is a God in heaven who can turn F's to A's but I myself was battling sleepless nights and the fear of even having an extra year in school all because of ONE COURSE!
This is the part where I chip in that often times, children of God are the people who go through the most embarrassing of issues because they have declared for a God the world disgraced and for that, they themselves are exposed to awful situations.
Back to the story, I had a couple of colleagues in the same department who were facing a similar fate. The lucky ones were set free after the second trial but the greater number were to face this fierce battle for the third time in four years. My parents could hear in my voice everyday that I was gripped with fear; fear of failure, fear of disgrace and embarrassment, fear of letting them down, fear of letting myself down, fear of the unknown and fear that if I fall this time, there might be no coming back from this. I was already trying so hard to spice up my Grade Point with the heavenly yeast so it'd rise to the desired level but let's just say God is faithful and had better plans.
When I saw I had failed the course for the second time, the realization that it was either I faced this academic giant now or never, dawned on me. It was however painful to hear when the results at school were released, testimonies from people I had held their hands in faith to pray for academic breakthroughs, tell the fellowship of what God had done. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad feeling but my question to God in my heart was like "God see people I encouraged, gave study hacks, helped change and improve their study patterns, sent scriptures of hope and encouragement, said prayers with before they entered the exam hall, you have done it for them, why didn't you do it for me?"
I understand that I was simply God's vessel doing the Lord's work but watching myself fall into repeated failure while being an instrumental to the success of others was painful.
It was wrong to question God but I needed God's intervention and very fast.
I decided that no matter what it would take me, I would do everything humanly possible and all I could do spiritually to ensure that this yoke is lifted off me.
So I started.
Before resuming for the semester, I wrote out my prayer points alongside this giant and laid it at my mother's altar. It is a sacred place that I have always seen God visibly so I dropped it at the feet of the master, took his blessings and headed for school. When I got to school, I remembered that my faculty wasn't even offering the course so the only people still battling with it would be those who had failed two years back. The result of this would be to attend lectures and write tests with the science and engineering faculties still offering the course.
Due to a major clash in the timetable, there was no way I could go for the classes and the population was terrifying so I quickly made as many friends as I could who were serious minded so I could get the notes promptly and other important details to help me achieve my goal.
I told God I didn't want anything less than an A because I needed landslide victory.
I got a detailed textbook that tore the course in question to shreds by virtue of its in-depth explanation and examination of all topics treated in it. I began to read that book everyday like my Bible. At some point the book found a place beside my pillow with my Bible and devotion notepad.
I made up my mind long before then (when I dropped the prayer points at the altar) that I would wear my cheerful smile and keep up my bubbly baby character so no one feels overwhelmed by my problem on my behalf.
The day for the test came and I wrote with confidence. I kept reciting a scripture I knew since I was 8 "The wicked flee when no man pursues but the righteous is as bold as a lion" whether I was righteous or not was not debatable; I have hid my life in Christ so for me, the righteousness of God covers me therefore that prayer was most certainly one I could prayer without mincing words.
I submitted the assignments, summarized a greater part of that text book and even started to teach the first year students around me offering the course to enable the knowledge gel like an authentic edge control product to my brain.
On the day of the exam, I ended up writing three papers that day which led me to pass my Medulla the night before, through the popular student phrase known as TDB (Till Day Break). It was invariable but God apparently saw that study method would wear me out so he caused great sleep to overtake me by the early hours of the morning. My dear friend came to wake me to get dressed for a day that would determine a lot of things in our lives. I had encouraged my spirit man, my parents were fasting with me, my siblings in their various boarding schools were praying, I was fasting too, come on! I told God quietly that morning during my prayers that I know you are not a wicked person for an entire family to put all their trust in you like this and you'll "fall-their-hand"
With the boldness of one who was ready to be set free from the shackles of failure, I launched into every exam hall that day feeling the way Jesus probably felt when he conquered the grave. The exam was a bit delayed which meant we barely had time to gloss through our books at the point of arriving at the slated exam venue. No need, the Holy Spirit the teacher of all truth was with me. My mother made sure I learnt that scripture that he will teach me ALL things and bring ALL things to my remembrance. My friend Omiko also had prayers from her mentor and bodied the problem like it was her own.
Don't get tired dear reader. You signed up to read about a miracle so your patience should be long-suffering.
The exam happened to be Computer based; the first of its kind in my university. While we stood outside, we watched many students go in and out of the CBT center; some with bright faces, others with eyes welling up to hot tears. My colleagues and I silently prayed that the latter fate wouldn't befall us.
That being said, it got to our turn and we wrote. The exam ended rather quickly and by Gods grace I was sure that no matter what I would pass. But here's the thing; I was specific and I told my family to be specific with their prayers. This course had brought my Grade Point to a struggling level and was eating out of it yearly so I needed some form of compensation for the irreparable loss which meant that an A was the only way.
I wasn't in the bandwagon of those praying to merely excel, my dreams were bigger; I wanted to go big or go home!
The semester ended quickly, I went home for my three months industrial training, school resumed again and my friends and I heard scratch cards to enable one access their results online were being sold. I rushed speedily to purchase and decided to take my time to check the results. This wasn't even happening in the same year, it was happening after I had battled for my life and returned after a nationwide University strike.
I checked the results and my myopic eyes shielded by cat eye glasswear spotted a shiny A beside a course that had 104.
I needed to be sure so I asked my friend Comfort to look at it for me. She looked and screamed, passed it on to Chidinma and Ifeoma and the good news was confirmed. I broke the news almost immediately to my mum who was practically holding back tears when I told her and with this, I was so sure that fourth year was truly going to be my final year in school. My friend Lilian was so excited she cried. It was an emotional moment of receiving answers to prayers.
Whatever moral of the story you decide to deduce, I hope it is one that tells you not to EVER give up, one that pushes you to put all your trust in a God who has a stellar and unbeatable record of NEVER FAILING or DISAPPOINTING, and a lesson that the Holy Spirit is the friend you need. I am sure this testimony might have made you cry a little bit (lol, I cried writing it too knowing well that this is one of the most sensitive stories in my life) or it gave you hope in a Redeemer that lives forever. Miracles happen every day friend and guess what?
Your heavenly father is himself the miracle worker.
Perhaps you are looking for courage to handle the issues of life tossed harshly at you or you need someone to hold your hand in faith and lift you up in Prayers, I am here for you! I am doing the lords work by his grace EVERYDAY until forever so send me an email and we will get right to it.
I conquered not only by the mercy of God but with the help of a family that is a powerful support system. Its fantabulous if you have that (a powerful support system), and if you don't yet, you have me; your sister in the light of Jesus from the same Father.
Thank you for reading ❤️
Blessings love and light.